Im laying down in my room listening to the firecrackers going off outside...it is halloween night here...where im at now...as everywhere else where christianity set foot, as a matter of fact...the people have no fucking clue how to celebrate halloween really...firecrackers, drums, barbecues, lots of drinks and singing, shouting and senseless yapping about anything and everything, about anybody and everybody...the same exact way they celebrate christmas, easter and any other holiday.
I was supposed to be out tonight with a few people in some bars where they have parties with lots of half naked girls loads of booze and general fun but i decided i wont do it.if i think about it actually i havent been out in months except a couple of times when even watching shellfish die would have been more fun.going out doesnt do it for me anymore.drinking and partying doesnt do it for me anymore.my girlfriend doesnt do it for me anymore...hahaha i retract that...she still does it for me actually...and pretty awesome too just that i like bitching about it most of the times...anyway getting back to my stream of consciousness...lately life has become outrageously boring and everything seems to be overrated. for some reason i have become older...i guess it has something to do with the years passing and stuff...i really dont believe thats the real reason but the general viewpoint seems to be this one so i will just go along for now...there is something inside all of us that is triggered at a certain time for a certain reason that seems to elude us almost always and then we start getting older.
tonight is the night when everyone is wearing a mask, a costume and impersonates someone or something that somewhere deep down inside them identifies them for who they actually are in front of themselves. and they even do it in public...thats why tonight i chose to stay home. i could easily disguise myself in a wolf, vampire or speed-addict-view-after-2-yrs for example but i chose to stay home. if i look around people disguise themselves everyday they are only masks and shady figures of their hidden selves and real life as they call it is exactly a carefully directed play that goes on and on forever with some minor discrepancies as this "halloween"...as i see it we live in a halloween world every single day of our "real" lives and we dont even notice it...i have masks and shadows as friends and neighbors and life is just a theater play with no happy-ending.
Therefore tonight i chose to stay at home to enjoy the silence and darkness of an empty room instead of "putting a mask on" and celebrating this day of the dead, night of the living or whatever some dudes out there found appropriate to name and define this holiday, simply because it could be possibly one of the few moments when i can actually drop my own mask off put aside this dusty costume that i have worn all my life and lay down naked of all this shadows parade all of us put on every day all the time and just watch the light games beyond my window's frame, listen to the indistinct noises and the verve of it all from this box i chose to put myself into at least for a night when everybody else chose to go out exposing the masks behind the masks, the real shadows lying behind the shadows of their souls long gone.
Lights out boys and girls we are going on a night's trip into ourselves!
Dont be scared of what you are going to witness tonight nothing you see its real wahahaha!
