Valentine's Day...what a bunch of crap!

valentine's day...im thinking today man have to prove women one more time how much they love them and they are willing to spend for them while women lie fuck around and have a fucking attitude all the time...yeah yeah for those out there who believe women are doing the same as us during today let me tell u something...bullshit! they do nothing besides taking a shower and spending 5 hours in the mirror "trying to look good for u on this special occasion"...like we dont take showers and put on deodorant and shit like that...and not only today but pretty much every day since it is called basic body hygiene...what else does a woman usually do today?cooking a nice dinner?putting on a nice dress after having a shower and spending half a day admiring herself in the mirror?giving u the best sex night of your entire year?...damn man are such retards sometimes...they should do that every god damn day because thats all they do anyway...i didnt have girlfriends before giving me 5000 dollar watches or some piece of expensive jewllery not even flowers and chocolate bonbons for fuck's sake!...all they did was "looking their best just for me today!"...what the fuck are u doing the rest of the year my love?...this is the only question that comes to my mind when the universal line drops...the rest of the year u are doing your best to look your worst for me and to give me hell like there's no tomorrow?...well then, no wonder i come home drunk all the time i dont enjoy havin sex with u anymore and i call your momma an old cunt...coz i see u acting exactly like ur dad tells me his wife is acting all the time hahaha...but V's Day is the day when every woman gives her best to make their man happy...and we gotta give it to them some of them make such a good job out of it that have us fooled in tagging along for another entire year puttin up with their bullshit lies and excuses with their shitty attitude and moods and last but not least with that constant nagging that makes men have a shorter life expectancy than women since the beggining of time...u guys know what im talking about...even those who would read this by now while their wives are looking over their shoulder and slap them for laughing or nodding affirmatively...i mean men didnt get killed by the multitude of armed conflicts since the beginning of time but much rather by the constant nagging of the woman at home who made them pick up their bows and arrows axes forks etc etc and to go out looking for somebody to relieve their frustrations...men took the risk of being lethaly wounded, bleeding to death, having arms and legs chopped off and hanging all over the battle field during a war, they took that risk as a much easier alternative than staying at home listening to the constant BUZZ coming out of their women...if we look throughout history we will surely observe though that on the 14th of february the conflicts among men suddenly stop...on the 14th of february all men allover the world come to this truce or armistice for about a day or so...because their women are looking their best today only for them, they cook their best meal of the year, they put on the best dress and they give them the best sex...and men will do anything just to have this day...anything...i would ask though...why only on the 14th of feb u girls would do this ONLY FOR US?...i mean the rest of the year u just go ahead and give it to anybody while we are out chopping our limbs off, spilling our guts allover the place trying to make a living?...I heard a woman the other day making another self explanatory statement..."it is a woman thing!...u guys cant understand that!"...so in other words it is a woman thing to give their men hell 364-365 days a year for the price of a sole heavenly day on the 14th of february?...the woman who came up with this brilliant idea really was a genius if u ask me...most probably there was some sort of a secret feminist council some 50000 years ago when women suddenly decided to apply this strategy on their husbands for some reason...i mean just staying home cleaning around the cave and all that wasnt enough entertainment for a woman and they were getting really bored since there were no soap opera channels back then either so they decided to create their own...their husbands were coming home from hunting really tired sometimes injured and bruised carrying all the necessary things to ensure the survival of their families and women were waiting for them in front of the cage..."so where have u been till now u no good lazy cheating bastard huh? i bet u are hanging out at those degenerate unarticulate monkey whores' place again huh? what's wrong with u? i give u everything my hairless body my heart i wash ur mammoth jacket all the time i take care of your kids i clean this god damn cave while you arent even able to find me a bigger one with a back yard like the neighbors across the valley have and you are going to those monkeys all the time u shameless bastard how can u do that after i ruined my life being with u...(starts sobbing)...my mooma told me you're no good ... oh my, how stupid i was for letting u fool me (starts crying like crazy)..."
"but hunny, i was out hunting...i mmmean...i was...really...look i got the mammoth meat right here...and...i got really badly wounded my arm is broken i can barely feel my left leg...i got one ear missing...b-b-but ohhhhh i got a little present for u... it almost got me killed but i love u and i wanted to do it...i got u a new coat also...see?...that white one u liked so much from the polar bear's rear side...see?"
"oh really?...(stops crying for a second, her eyes start sparkling with curiosity and interest)...let me see...oh this is so nice...and how soft it is...ohhhh...but...hold on a sec...what is this?...this is not polar bear u lying bastard this is only a white wolf pelt (starts crying again even worse)...get out of here u lying neanderthal...(thinking for herself) thats it im gonna make ur life hell i got this new idea and im gonna share it with all my sistas in our secret meeting after u mongoloids leave again...thats it u better be home that day of the year when im willing to do some stuff for u mother fucker or else is just gonna be hell all year 'round...white wolf pelt my ass...is this how much u show me u love me?...i dont care u almost got killed...it would have been better if u did u no good lazy caveman...i'll show white wolf pelt...im only gonna wear this along with the other zebra thong u gave me last month only on lets say...hmmmm...14th day of february and then its up to u if u gonna be here or else im just gonna do it for the neighbor like i always do anyway when ur hunting hahaha"(starts chuckling evilishly)
the man is getting closer and closer to the point where he will club her down like the first day they met and fell in love with each other but this time not for the same reason... however, instead of letting the urge follow through he goes out trying to save what he believes is a life's hard work and goes away picking a fight with some other unfortunate bastard...
"no wonder i spend all my time at those monkeys' place... they are horny all the time and cant talk either...and they are always happy with a few bananas!..."

Happy Valentine's Day everybody!